i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
Randomize
