just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
The lady at target couldn't scan my grocery item and just looked at me and said "just take it. I hate this fucking place". Best munchie adventure yet.
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
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