dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
Randomize
