why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
The dog just sneezed and it sounded like a person, after I said bless you I freaked the fuck out and got the gun
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
My vagina just clenched in fear
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