he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
When i woke up this morning she asked me 'when did you first find out that you could see the future.' I gotta stop drinking.
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
I five year old is judging me because I just opened a bottle of Sam Adams with my teeth before 8am
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
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