I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
Why do I always have sex on the first date when I know it demotes me to booty call girl?
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
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