sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
i think we sleep fucked last night...
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