we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
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