you said the mailboxes were turning into babies and they started crawling away. then you cried and asked me how you were gonna get your college acceptance letters
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
Randomize
