i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
So many bounce houses so little time
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
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