i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
I have enough bourbon in me to put Justin's cat in the dishwasher.
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Randomize
