Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
At the end of the white elephant exchange, our professor had a big black dildo around her neck and I won a full body dinosaur suit. I could die tomorrow with no regrets.
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
So here's a tip: don't give a blowjob the same morning you're going to the dentist. Cuz they will think you have "mouth trauma."
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
I just called my kid butt plug. Does that make me a bad mommy??
This may be the most diplomatic thing you've ever said
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