Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
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