i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
Dude i just want you to know that when i found you half your mustache was already gone. I didn't do it.
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
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