I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
So we walked by this chick's house and she starts yelling at her boyfriend "STOP HITTING ME WITH YOUR DICK"
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
Randomize
