im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
Randomize
