His birthday is on fathers day. I know its a cruel coincedence but this is too funny to pass up.
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
He better not be in your backpack
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize