i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
You stocked up?
No actually didn’t get a chance. If you wouldn’t mind bringing me a brownie and a bottle of Jameson that’d be nice
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