youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
Randomize
