Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
Randomize
