I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
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