turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
We just had a 30 min argument on the actual birth date of Jesus, it ended in my brother and ain't cursing each other and an 8 yr old answering it by using Siri.
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
Simultaneously sexting while making brunch plans. Multitasking at its gayest.
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
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