Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
You should have been there to see the look on her face when I told her that my dog gives better head than her. It was a beautiful symphony of shock, anger, and disbelief.
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
Randomize
