If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
Yeah I should probably start planning our first conversation instead of our first child.
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
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