She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
Randomize
