Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
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