By the way the fattest man alive got married yesterday and I don't even have a boyfriend.
There's this guy beside me dancing with this girl with no panties on. When I looked at him he said he's babysitting his bestfriend's girlfriend since he can't come out.
What a good friend
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
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