Just woke up wearing a top hat and simpsons boxers. i also found more money in my wallet then what i had before going out, about $1000 more
just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
Randomize
