heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
So I'm looking through your google history on your laptop and you have 'is ketchup even remotely nutritious' and 'alcohol with fewest calories but highest alcohol'. What new fad diet are you on because I feel like we could do this together.
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
The amount of alcohol I'm going to consume on my birthday is directly proportional to the amount of shit I've had to put up with this past year. Which is a lot.
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
And then my night got REAL pukey
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
Is there a subtle way to tell him he needs to hydrate? 8 years of yoga and kegels. He has no idea what I’m going to do to him this weekend
Randomize
