just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
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