so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
I want an apology pizza with SORRY IM A DOUCHE spelled out on it in pepperoni
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
My feet surprised me
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
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