just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
Randomize
