Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
I know you just got dumped by your gf but believe there is still good in the world. I just smoked a joint and took a fucking unbelievable poop. Give me a call tomorrow.
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
Randomize
