careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
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