i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
Most awkward car ride ever. Kid in the front seat was bawling, 2 in the backseat were ready to fight, and I was giving the last kid a handie. This needs to stop happening to us.
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
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