I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
of course. lets lasso hookers.
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
Randomize
