that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
My professor just gave us a margarita recipe.
Why?
Because, and I quote, he "wants to give us the tools to succeed in life."
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
Current status: Finding an unwrapped portion of Subway sandwich in my purse at the pharmacy counter & picking pieces of tomato off my wallet while the pharmacist watches disdainfully.
Did you offer her some?
If only. Current status: Not that clever.
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
Randomize
