What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
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