wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
I JUST PETTED A FUCKING SQUIRREL. A SQUIRREL.
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
Randomize
