I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
Randomize
