I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
She asked to borrow my chapstick then said "I promise I won't get herpes on it"
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
Randomize
