Just mADE A PArabola og urine
Dude.. I don’t care how hairy she is, you already left me at the bar, and now I have to find another fucking way home... NOW BE A MAN ABOUT IT!
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
Randomize
