The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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