why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
A 3am FaceTime to go to IHOP is the closest thing to a bootycall that I'm getting
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
Randomize
