he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Randomize
