Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
Just to circumvent as much mood-killing as possible, you are allowed a small amount of laughter at my pubic hair. Too much and I revoke your vagina privileges until you can get your shit together.
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
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