If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
Upon further investigation it turns out it wasn't blood, but chocolate frosting from the cupcake I shoved in my pocket to "save for later"
Thank God I didn't lose my virginity to that asshole. That woulda been like winnin a raffle ticket for a free bag of dog shit. But with like a really pretty bag. A pretty bag full of dog shit.
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
I made friends with the delivery guy because he had beautiful dread locks and was a Zelda fan. He texted me after he left saying he wasn't trying to be creepy but we should be friends. We're hanging out tomorrow.
How does this kind of shit happen to you?!
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
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