the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
Hey. Make all the seamen/semen jokes you want. Not many people can say they fucked 2 different girls in two different countries in one week on a tax free bonus. Next up: Italy.
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
Randomize
