Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
My mom just walked in and she was like "Who ate all of the cheese?" and all I could think of was you trying to become a human taco
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
My mom just drunk texted me complaining about her genitals smelling like Taco Bell. I really am her son
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
Randomize
