Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
I wish I only lived at night.
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
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