Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
Randomize
