All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
Houston, we have a squirter
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
just licked whipped cream off some model's nipple... just coming clean for when the pic gets on instagram because i am not untagging that shit
Oh man. I threw up in the first cab. Got kicked out. Roamed somewhere for awhile. Fell asleep in the back if the second cab. Woke up in my underwear on the living room floor with a frozen pizza (thawed) laying next to me
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
Randomize
