names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
Had to immediately delete the Bevmo email because I can't even look at an email about alcohol right now.
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
yeah i'm making him "thanks for letting me befriend your toilet" cookies. wanna help? i'm sure you'll be making new friends too.
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
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