yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
You went through my pantry and left one of everything in the box. One cracker. One cheesit. One piece of cereal. I really fucking hate you.
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
Turns out the bartender I fucked is the bar owner. WHY THE FUCK DO I PAY FOR HALF MY DRINKS? IS SEX NOT TIP ENOUGH?
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
Randomize
