Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
Randomize
