I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
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