If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
I'm just crazy horny about you
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
Verdict: uncircumcised.
Randomize
