I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
You called me at 3 am laughing like an idiot. Apparently you consider breaking out of the hospital to be a lifetime achievement.
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
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