i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
I am not drunk. I will recite the pledge.
I don't want you to recite the pledge!
Pledge alligien to america to united states of america
I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
Randomize