So I wake up this morning with a bottle of dish detergent and a dildo. Good call on bringing those girls from community college.
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
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