I left the party when things started to get crazy... and when I say crazy I mean: there was puke on the carpet, Evan was passed out behind a plant, Mary was making out with her ex while her present bf was making out with Nancy. Not to mention that someone fisted the wall. Also - someone is sleeping on your lawn - they might be dead, I didn't check. Later.
im drinking this country out of the recession.
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
I had to switch to male Siri because I could feel female Siri voice judging me for reading my sexts out loud. Also, the dude voice keeps me in the mood.
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
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