You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
It's amazing how hard it it while drunk to not comment "fuck you" on dumb peoples' statuses
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
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