dude facebook disabled my account because im registered under a false identity. now in order to get it back, i have to prove that it's really my name. i sent them an email and had to sign it "Cordially, Lloyd Pancakes"
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
Nah, just stick him in a closet with some cheetos, a blunt and soda. The darkness will calm him down until Mallory can be located.
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
Randomize
