i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
that's the second time you've been mistaken as a prostitute. maybe life is trying to tell you something
its my fault though, i'm wearing tights
you're hiking in tights? you remind me of dennis quaid's fiance in the parent trap
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
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