The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
Randomize
