love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
So I got offered a job this morning based on being a "good role model for girls" and I am drunk at 330 in the afternoon in "celebration." sometimes, life is insane. But not so bad.
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
He was all “please don’t bail because I’m missing work for this” last night
Honey no, I need dick. I’m not going to bail
Randomize