You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
Randomize
