Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
Randomize
