Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
Randomize
